1. What time did the man go to the dentist? Toothhurt-y.

2. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

3. Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!

4. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

5. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!

6. Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? 
Because he was a little horse!

 

7. I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

8. I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

9. A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.

10. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

11. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

12. Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind… it’s tearable.

 

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